Review
USA – Warner Bros. (UK Release 8 December 2011)
Ah, New Year’s Eve. That one night of the year where even your local boozer charges you admission, people push and shove, get too drunk, too loud and too close, and your taxi home costs as much as a return flight to Barbados. NOT SO! New Year’s Eve – this new experiment in audience endurance claims - is a magical, wonderful night full of love, hope, confetti and infinite possibility – and a thousand New York-residing actors happy to do just one day’s work for a big cheque.
New Year’s Eve follows the blueprint now familiar to those who suffered Valentine’s Day and He’s Just Not That Into You. Yes, it’s New Year’s Eve and all across New York there are people are either getting ready for, actively avoiding or almost missing the big party. And that’s it, as far as the plot goes. The problem inherent in these films, which is paradoxically the reason they are made (and people go to see them), is that with so many big actors involved, character arcs are dealt with in only half a dozen scenes, meaning most of the dialogue is expositional. Therefore we get scenes where Katherin Heigl tells Jon Bon Jovi stuff that happened between them previously which they both surely already know, or moments where characters delcare their relationship to each other: “Hey sister!”, “I am your best friend,” etc.
Worse than the romantic drama however is the patronising stabs at comedy; this truly is lowest common-demoninator stuff. The proof? There are three characters with funny accents. Three. And one flamboyant male nurse who drops ‘va-j-j’ ever so outrageously. That is the best gag in the film. Apart from the time an old lady swears.
Further, so desperate is New Year’s Eve to prove it’s now-ness that countless references are made to new technologies and phenomenons (eg. Angry Birds) while stunt casting amounts to plucking actors from successful TV series (Lea Michelle, Sofia Vergara) without bothering to change their characters.
Most offensive of all however is the fact that the likes of Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro have so willingly demeaned themselves by appearing in the most grotesque and emotionally exploitative roles on offer. We could shame other actors, but frankly Sarah Jessica Parker has a few sins to atone for following SATC2 and Halle Berry more than anyone demonstrates exactly why she deserves to be in such a film, and why there will be someone round to collect that Oscar shortly, thank you. The only person who walks away with a grain of dignity is Zac Efron, who alone showcases at least some charisma. That’s one positive. Another is that – since much of the movie is set in Times Square – there was little need to write product placement into the actual script (though it still does happen once or twice). So don’t worry if you miss the Sherlock Holmes trailer at the start.
Holiday-themed film titles were once the preserve of slasher movies. How much more enjoyable this film would have been were it named Halloween. If you weren’t already cynical about New Year’s Eve, you will be after watching this.
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