This week is LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week, a series of events promoting adoption and fostering among the gay and lesbian community. For homosexual couples, adoption is one of the key routes into building a family, but for many the process remains a mysterious one. Just what are the challenges facing gay people looking to adopt, and how has the system changed to accommodate them in recent years?
Gay and lesbian couples have been able to adopt jointly since 30 December 2005, when the Adoption and Children Act that was passed in 2002 came into effect. This was the first time that unmarried couples had been able to adopt jointly, and that covered same sex as well as heterosexual couples.
Lesbian and gay adoption is rarely mentioned in the press in relation to anything but the opposition it faces, such as when Catholic adoption agencies sought special exclusion from the law. You could be forgiven for focusing on the hardships – the homophobia and discrimination – and forgetting the joy that adoption can bring. Luckily, the real story is far from a universally gloomy one. ‘I thought we would subject to a lot of homophobia, and it was a real worry for the children,’ said adoptive parent Scott, who in 2007 with his partner became the first gay male couple in their local authority to adopt. ‘Touch wood, we have never had any issues, apart from the odd name calling at school, which has been very quickly nipped in the bud.’
Not surprisingly, the process of adaptation to gay adoption has been a less than perfectly smooth one for the adoption authorities. Scott and his partner faced some strange and tactless inquiries during their assessment, including how they would ensure that their adopted child did not grow up to be gay. ‘The mature adoption team manager commented that we would never be able to adopt a girl, as we were two men,’ he said incredulously. As this was early on in the history of gay adoption, the couple were also posed inapplicable questions on their forms such as, ‘Have you come to terms with your infertility?’ Rewording of various formerly standard questions has been necessary following the introduction of gay adoption.
Other questions that were posed to them were both appropriate and uniquely relevant to a gay couple. Scott’s partner was not out at work at the time, not deeming it appropriate for his environment. The panel thought this relevant to the adoption process. ‘How can you advocate for a child if you are unable to advocate for yourself?’ was their question, raising a fair point regarding the particular nuances of gay and lesbian life. Heterosexuals are not expected to ‘come out’, and the secrecy with which one might veil a part of their life is relevant to raising a child. Teaching children honesty and self-acceptance is an important part of the parental role, and these are issues that homosexuals are invariably faced with more overtly in day-to-day life. Beyond that, there are other issues of discrimination that particularly affect gay men, lesbians and other minorities. Though they should not change or diminish a person’s chances in the adoption process, they cannot be ignored during the in-depth assessment of any prospective adopter.
‘The assessment would be similar, but there may be additional considerations, and sexuality should be a part of that,’ British Association of Adoption and Fostering (BAAF) consultant Chris Christophides told us. ‘But [homosexuality] should not be something that’s pathologised. It should be a form of sexuality, like heterosexuality is, and it should be analysed within that context, and as a relationship, in the same way that a heterosexual relationship is analysed and explored by the assessing social worker. It shouldn’t be viewed as a problem.’ We have to be willing to accept differences in the process for lesbians and gay men, but not ones that should be considered to alter a person’s chances or suitability for adoption.
However, there may very well be cases where a social worker might be prejudiced – consciously or unconsciously – against gay couples in favour of heterosexuals. ‘I think some social workers still have a conviction that such placements will not be positive or helpful for those children,’ said Christophides. He suggested that there may be a hierarchy in the minds of some social workers, giving heterosexual couples precedence over homosexuals because of the social worker’s own prejudice or fears.
A difficulty in immediately dispelling these fears is a lack of evidence to either support or refute the concern that children placed with homosexual adopters will suffer in comparison to placements with heterosexuals. While studies of children with gay biological parents and anecdotal evidence suggests that homosexual parents perform just as well as heterosexual, there are currently no significant longitudinal studies to support the efficacy of gay adoption (Cambridge University is launching such a study this year). Though the consensus among gay people seems to be that society has become far more accepting, there remains no specific evidence to support this in relation to adopted children that be held up as irrefutable proof of the value of gay adoption.
Despite the concerns held by some, Christophides believes there is a general willingness among to consider all applicants equally. ‘Social workers are gradually now recognising that what matters now is the adoptive parents’ capacity to parent a child according to their particular needs rather than whether they are heterosexual or gay.’ Agencies can commission BAAF to train their employees in the issues surrounding gay adoption, and can also consult BAAF’s Pink Guide to Adoption. There has also been a gradual rise in lesbian and gay employees taken on by agencies.
Scott pointed out a more practical and personal concern that gay men and lesbians should consider before entering into the adoption process. He warned that they should prepare themselves for a major change, passing from a lifestyle in which most assume for a long time that they will never be able to have children to actually having their own children in a relatively short space of time. ‘Do not rush to have children placed with you,’ he said. ‘Take the time to take a holiday, get lots of lie-ins.’ Adoption is a big change for anyone, and perhaps even more so for gay people.
It is a slow process, but the British adoption system is adjusting to the new state of affairs. Currently about 1% of adopters are gay – a small but not insignificant proportion that is far higher than before same sex and unmarried couples were brought into the system. It is not an easy process for gay people, but it is not an easy process for anyone. This is as it should be to ensure that children are placed with parents who will best suit and support them. Lesbian and gay adopters may face some added challenges, but these have been and will continue to diminish as gay adoption because less ‘unusual’. There is support out there, and with over 65,000 children in care, no one, whether gay or straight, should be afraid of pursuing adoption.
LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week is organised by New Family Social, an organisation that offers support to LGBT adopters.
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