Homosexuality, Parenthood and the Law

In recent years, there has been an increasing number of gay couples rearing children. The circumstances in which this happens needs to be strongly monitored to protect both parties, as otherwise biological parents may be forced out of having contact with their child unjustly – something which is happening more and more.

Take two lesbians, add a gay friend, a splash of semen and the burning desire for a baby and you end up with a child. Unfortunately, if not done with the proper contractual agreements, this can also lead to a headache too. Cases of parenting suites appear infrequently in the news and usually under a thinly veiled attempt at gay-bashing, but these problems are ones we bring upon ourselves. There are plenty of examples of good gay mums and dads, and they are among both the celebrated and the pedestrian.

Tanya Roberts from Charles Russell LLP

A case that has come to light recently is the story of a lesbian couple and their two-year old child. The biological father is seeking parental rights – as is due – but the couple are saying that it is an unreasonable request. To help get our heads around the legal situation, So So Gay spoke to Tanya Roberts, a partner at law firm Charles Russell LLP. Regarding this particular case, she released a statement saying, ‘It is very difficult to see how a relationship with his natural father could be anything but a positive experience for the child and how excluding the father could be in the boy’s best interests. The mother’s case that one stable home without shuttling backwards and forwards is more important than the boy seeing his father does not seem persuasive’.

We followed up with her to find out exactly what should have been done in the first instance, in order to allow security for both parties in the creation of a child in a non-conventional way. She told us, in relation to contracts, ’the detail of the arrangement should have been discussed and documented both in relation to his role in the child’s upbringing and also his financial role but even if it had been it would not have stopped either side seeking to vary it’. She went on to say that, ‘he [the father in the case above] has parental responsibility (legal rights) if he is on the birth certificate automatically, otherwise he has to apply for it if it is not agreed. That gives him an equal say in all major decisions’.

We finished the interview by asking what caused this situation, and she said, ‘I think this situation cropped up because either it was unclear what the expectations were at the time or someone changed their mind afterwards. My strong view is that it is better for the child to have an open and honest relationship with them all – even if this is in multiple homes – and to deny him one of his parents should only be in very extreme circumstances which do not appear relevant here’.

So take note mums and dads of the future, the sensible option is clear: decide what you want and have it put down into a contract, because a child is for life, not just for Christmas.