The question of how and when someone’s sexuality is determined has been debated for many years. Is it a developed trait? Or genetic? Lady Gaga has made her position quite clear, but until now I never really had a concrete answer. Finally, Fox News has shown me the light, and I can finally shake off the pernicious liberal suggestions of so-called ‘scientists’ and genre-straddling musicians.
I was brought up watching Sesame Street, you see. Like many American parents, my mother and father thought that sitting me down in front of a harmoniously biracial group of presenters and their colourful Muppet friends teaching kids how to share and count was probably harmless. The poor, innocent dupes. How were they to know they were immersing me in a vat of leftist pro-homosexual agitprop that must even then have been conditioning my infant brain for same-sex attraction? Thankfully, Ben Shapiro, discussing his new book about the liberal media agenda with Sean Hannity and some other conservative talking heads, has set the record straight (see video below).
Shapiro (who, with his squeaky voice, brings to mind a Muppet himself), delivers the stunning revelation that Sesame Street was originally conceived as a means of helping poor black and Latino children with little access to reading material at home, thereby proving its nefarious intent. Its website, he warns, advises parents to raise their children using gender-neutral nouns, and to give boys dolls and girls fire trucks, et cetera. God forbid any women should want to learn how to put out fires, with all those flammable dresses they always wear.
Dangerous subversives all.
One of the guests, Ken Blackwell – a former Ohio Secretary of State who (I’m sure quite coincidentally) is considering running for office – swiftly picks up on the implications of such advice. ‘That’s setting up a problem,’ he extrapolates. ‘Just this year, a high school in Virginia named a guy, who is openly gay, as prom queen.’ It’s worse than you thought, Ken. They’re even doing it in your native Ohio. The logic is clear: Sesame Street’s liberal creators intend to rob America’s bitchy, pretty girls of the prom crowns that are their birthright. ‘So sometimes fiction does inform reality,’ he concludes, clearly aware of the knowing laugh that will get from people watching Fox News.
Obviously Big Bird and his fellow travellers represent ‘a direct assault on this country’s moral foundation.’ Sesame Street is part of a ‘totalitarian’ Government’s plot to destroy and replace families and the Church. Panellist Kirsten Haglund (Miss America 2008), quickly agrees with Hannity that it is ‘concerning’ how kids today ‘know more’, but proudly boasts that, ‘I grew up watching Sesame Street and I grew up to be a good conservative!’ But where did I go wrong, Kirsten?
She gives a clue later on: the problem with liberals and secular-humanists is that they believe human nature is fundamentally good, whereas conservatives don’t. Sadly Hannity cuts her off there, but it provides a useful insight into the kind of education I might have received from television, had it not been hijacked by Marxist hand-puppets. A Randian Sesame Street where Mr Snuffleupagus was the only one of his kind because the rest of his family lived in an Alaskan reserve and we needed the oil, dammit. A world where Ernie could live with Bert but couldn’t visit him in the hospital or inherit Rubber Ducky if he died. Where Oscar the Grouch was the Republican nominee for President.
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