Opinion: ‘Gay’ as slang – what’s in a word?

I completely disagree with you, we do have control over language. We should all consider and take responsibility for the words we use and the words we teach children. Saying gay instead of crap may not seem like a big deal tnow but the fact gay now has this third, negative connotation obviously stems from past homophobia. To normalise it's use in this way is to normalise the idea that gay people are lesser, a bit rubbish, ok but not really normal.

Reclaiming words also shows a lack of responsibility for our language. Women calling themselves sluts and black rappers calling each other n***a have taken words imbued with hundreds of years of negative meaning and said, yes that is an appropriate signifier for me. Yes, this word comes from prejudice against me and in my struggle against this prejudice I will use the exact words my oppressor uses against me. It doesn't mean you have taken it back for yourself, it means you have given in and accepted the awful thing you were called to keep you down.

Okay, fine.  So the use of 'gay' as a derogatory slang doesn't hurt the feelings of you and your LGBT friends.  That's all well and good.

But what about the emotional well-being of those that *do* have the intellectual and emotional capacity of a ten year old?  You know, because they're ten.  I don't think the justification behind punishing school-yard uses of the word has to do with whether it hurts the feelings of adults.  It has to do with the children subjected to that environment on a five-day-a-week basis.

The problem with it, in my opinion, stems largely from the fact of adolescents starting to question their sexual identity are doing while having the equation of gay=garbage crammed down their throats.  And sure, we can say 'it's just kids being kids', 'they don't really mean it like that', but that doesn't remove or invalidate the association that's going to occur.  And, at the very least, having there be school-yard punishment for such uses of the word proves that there are people, somewhere, that disagree with such a sentiment.

So, while 'rise above it' might be a viable strategy for those of us old enough to do so, let's not forget that rules about what's said on the playground really aren't aimed at us.

I just think its a shame that one can identify with ones sexuality by considering ones self "being gay" only to find out that it also mean "thats rubbish". 

It's incredibly irritating that the term gay to mean rubbish has been allowed to spread into common culture and is in a way a thinly veiled institutionalised homophobic insult forever embedded in the social psyche. 

Whilst its something that as adults one can put aside, why should we have to? I don't think we can re-claim the word gay, but what other options are there, I'm a homo just doesn't have the same ring to it....

Oh Claire, to have achieved such maturity that you can rise above the school ground taunts. I praise your measured level headedness. Language is indeed a beautiful and fluid thing. It is a creature that can never be tamed. But there is a massive distance between language and it's use.

Perhaps I am stuck in some warped land where I do have the emotional and intellectual intelligence of a ten year old, but when someone uses gay to mean shit it does still hurt. When it comes to equality my own personal acid test is replace the word with that representing another minority, women, jew, black. Is it offensive using this new word? Then yes it is offensive. It's a child like simplicity but maybe that's why it works. Would you stop a child (and I'm only using a child as an example here as your piece focuses on the playground) using black, muslim, disabled as a pejorative term? I should hope so, or would you tell the minorities in question to just rise above it.

I am thankfully no longer a child, but that doesn't mean I have yet to escape the use of the word gay in a negative and homophobic way. Something tells me the two lads hollering 'gayer' and 'batty boy' weren't doing so merely as a way to get my attention when asking for directions. Though to be fair I was in short shorts and absent mindedly shimming to Kylie on my iPhone so to be fair they weren't using Sherlock like powers of deduction to assertain my sexuality.

The tricky point we come to really is the meaning intended by the user. I've often described things as being gay. It's normally a statement of fact. As a bloke going down on another is pretty gay no matter how straight the marine in question may claim to be. My mates my call me a potato munching paddy, but this comes from a place of love and jovial banter. A child in school struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality and hearing everything that is bad and wrong is gay will believe the same about themselves. Unlike you and your mates Claire, they probably dont have the benefit of hindsight (what with being in the situation right there and then) and realise its just something to get over. To them gay is shit, and therefore they are shit.

I see where you're coming from Claire, I really do. Reclaiming words doesn't really work. Try asking a group of LGBT grown ups what words they find acceptable and what words they still find offensive. You'll get a flurry of different responses. I certainly wouldn't condone banning words outright either, such kind of censorship only gives the negative connotations more power. But how's this for an interesting tack, simple explanations as to why using certain words as negative helps no one. Let's not single out the LGBT community here either. I once saw a very powerful piece of film where a black teenager was challenged on his use of 'nigger' by a very talented black poet. She explained exactly what that word meant and where it came from. The teenager and subsequently his friends stopped using the word.

Nor am I advocating being a killjoy and killing humour, the ability to laugh at ourselves and with allies is not just hilarious, but empowering. Like I say it's all about the way in which language is used, not the word itself. Education and humour from a positive direction, will more than likely see the use of the word 'gay' as negative change much faster than merely rising above it. Not only that but it doesn't leave anyone behind to think that gay equals shit and therefore shit equals them. I'll admit it takes more work, and a thicker skin but isn't it better than the alternative?

I take it all too seriously too Peter! 

I understand what Clare mean's but as an adult, once having found ones feet and place in society it's very easy to rise above with a sticks and stones attitude. In a classroom environment there should be an enforcement against words that reinforce stereotype, hateful attitudes or prejudice - whether it be on sexuality, race, religion or anything else. Also, Sontag's 'On Camp' may seem dated, and I'm in no way trying to agree with O'niell, but this work shouldn't be dismissed. It's huge importance for me lies in the fact that Sontag separates the idea Camp and gay culture. So in essence we can use Camp to analyse something, that may be heavily rooted in gay culture but actually it's the Camp element (the exaggeration or artifice) that we like or dislike. Rather than liking/disliking the fact that it's rooted in gay culture - which could be viewed as homophobic. 

I also love the irony of 'gay' replacing 'naff' meaning someone was straight or "Not Available For Fucking". However, people were using Naff without knowing it had an origin outside of 'rubbish'. But people's use of gay has always been accompanied with a half hearted apology knowing they shouldn't say it, but not caring enough to stop saying it.  Maybe I should not get so wound up by it and stop correcting adults. But kids, I'm afraid I'll always correct and explain to them why I hate hearing gay used as a synonym for crap. 

I can completely see where Claire is coming from.  But it's one of those things that jabs like a knife everytime I hear, "that's SO gay!"  There's no point in reclaiming a word I suppose, as the sheer nature of language doesn't have time for retrograde steps.  I can't help but feel as though saying "this is gay" is translated to me as though I am perceived as useless and rubbish because of my orientation.  I probably am taking it all to seriously, but it still winds me up. 

I guess its time to just give up on correcting people on it. *sigh*