France – Agat Films & Cie (2002)
Last week I profiled the 1961 British thriller, Victim, as my top LGBT film. ‘Top’ might, in fact, be a bit of a misnomer; true enough, Victim is a ground-breaking film – the first to break the silence about homosexuality on the silver screen. Coming, as it did, just a few years after Lord Wolfenden’s report, it moved the UK a step closer to decriminalising homosexuality. But there’s another film that had a profound effect on me. Olivier Ducastel and Jacques Martineau’s Ma Vraie Vie à Rouen (The True Story of My Life in Rouen) is the first completely gay-themed film I can recall watching.
Ma Vie, as it is known for short, takes the form of a video diary, filmed by teenager Étienne (Jimmy Travares) on a camcorder given to him for his 16th birthday by his grandmother (Hélène Surgère). As he films his family and friends, the viewer is drawn into Étienne’s awakening sexuality, his first crush, his first coming out, and the first inkling of the struggles that so many of us face as we settle down with who we are.
Étienne (Jimmy Tavares) and his mother (Ariane Ascaride) demonstrate against Jean-Marie le Pen's presidential campaign in Ma Vraie Vie à Rouen.
The film’s strength comes from the solid realism with which it is presented. While some video diaries are shown as fairly slick productions, Ma Vie manages to feel a little rough at the edges while still maintaining a strong and touching narrative. So, mixed in with Étienne’s chats with his beloved grandmother and mother (Ariane Ascaride), we see the awkward footage of an amateur film-maker. He films his figure-skating practise (Tavares himself is an accomplished skater); the sea and birds around Rouen; and intimate, if sometimes uncomfortable chats with his best friend, Ludovic (Lucas Bonnifait). Through his lens we are also introduced to his teacher, Laurent (also his first crush, played by Jonathan Zaccaï), and his developing relationship with Étienne’s mother. It all feels exactly as one would expect a teenager’s video diary to feel: rough, angsty and often verging on inappropriate.
The film draws much of its power from Tavares’ superb performance as Étienne. As the teenager struggles to get used to his evident homosexuality, Tavares’ sensitive and believable performance acts as a mirror – reminding gay viewers how it felt at that age to be different and misunderstood. For straight viewers, too, Ma Vie shows how easy it is to be complicit in making young gay people’s lives a little more miserable than they need to be – even for friends and families.
Best of all, though, the film is shot through with an palpable feeling of optimism. Even at Étienne’s lowest times, his sparkling personality, self-respect and curiosity – not to mention his fantastic joie de vivre – are clear, taking the film to a memorably moving closing scene. If you’ve ever tried to remember how it felt to be young, gay and in love, Ma Vie is the closest you can get to those heady days without time travel. It should certainly jostle with Beautiful Thing for the position of ‘best coming-of-age gay film’.
Ma Vie is available to buy through Amazon.co.uk.
Throughout March, So So Gay will review its writers’ top LGBT films to support the build-up to the 25th BFI London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival. The Festival takes place between 31 March and 6 April. For more information, visit the official website and follow the BFI’s official Twitter feed @BFI
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