John Ford (1932-2000)
Father, Grandfather
I’d seen a few choices from this series, and was particularly touched after watching the video of Joel Burns’ speech. It got me thinking about who I’d choose as my LGBT Hero, as it was something I’d never really contemplated. After rifling through my brain thinking of writers, pioneers and public figures, I realised there was only one person to choose: John Gilbert Ford, my Granddad.
My Granddad was a great man, and also a gay man; my Mum casually slipped this fact into conversation one day as if it was nothing – her method of choice for relaying big news. While he may not have done anything profound to benefit the LGBT community, he did an awful lot for my family, and without him I think my coming out would have been a lot more difficult than it was.
He was born on 6 July 1932, into a world that I can’t quite imagine. While there is – to my great dismay and anger – still prejudice and homophobia in the world today, my Granddad lived in a time where simply being gay was illegal. I imagine that may have been the reason he married my Gran, Muriel, and subsequently had four children with her.
It certainly wasn’t the reason he stayed with them, though. He loved my Gran – adored her, and who wouldn’t? She’s a hardy Northern lass who’s defied doctors and proven that the elixir of life is in fact Lambrini. He also loved his kids – Lesley, Barbara (my Mum), Peter and Alison – and worked incredibly hard to support them all. He held down three jobs, from bus conductor to chief magistrate’s clerk, to make sure they had everything they wanted. He also did his part in the RAF, and looked pretty dapper in the uniform, too.
I wish I’d been able to know him better (he died about 11 years ago) but I genuinely cherish the memories I have. Most of them involve him knitting: he was a demon with the old needle and wool. I asked my Mum a little more about him; how he’d go on holiday with his ‘friends’ (what my Gran still calls my boyfriends now) and her meeting Bunny, the Jamaican man my Granddad took under his wing, who still sends my Gran birthday and Christmas cards. The one thing she said that really stuck out to me, though, was simply this: ‘I wouldn’t have changed my gay Dad for any other man in the world.’
I certainly wouldn’t either. And when I visit my Gran or speak to my Mum and they say that I remind them of him, I feel a sense of pride that nothing else will ever be able to give me.
About the Author
Subscribe with iTunes
